German Flatulence Control

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Travel is glamorous only in retrospect. - Paul Theroux

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

He who does not travel does not know the value of men. - Moorish Proverb

Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind. - Seneca

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. - Mark Twain

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls. - Anais Nin

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang

For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Own only what you can always carry with you: know languages, know countries, know people. Let your memory be your travel bag. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable. - Clifton Fadiman