German Flatulence Control

Travel, of course, narrows the mind. - Malcolm Muggeridge

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Germany may have recovered a flying saucer as early as 1939. - Jimmy Doolittle

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries. - Aldous Huxley

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls. - Anais Nin

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversation. - Elizabeth Drew

Our deeds still travel with us from afar, and what we have been makes us what we are. - George Eliot

Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up. - Ernest Hemingway

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music. - Unknown

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Why endeavor to straighten the road of life? The faster we travel, the less there is to see. - Helen Hayes

People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home. - Dagobert D. Runes

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. - Mark Twain

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Toward the north, from there shone Frederick, the North Star, around whom Germany, Europe, even the world seemed to turn. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable. - Clifton Fadiman

If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Bill Murray

Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle