Gun Laws

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

It is an ill cause that the lawyer thinks shame o'. - John Ray

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

There is no security in this life. There is only opportunity. - Douglas MacAurthur

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

Time is money, especially when you're talking to a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe-kster

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. - Steven Wright

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim