#1 humor site on the 'net

Gun Laws

Gun control for those above the law

Gun Laws thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

A good lawyer is a bad neighbor. - French Proverb

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator. - Marvin Lebman

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

How many lawyer jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. - Thomas F Shubnell

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

I think we may class the lawyer in the natural history of monsters. - John Keats

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

A man's own good breeding is the best security against other people's ill manners. - Lord Chesterfield

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

Why don't you ever hear of a lawyer getting attacked by a shark at the beach? Professional courtesy. - Thomas F Shubnell

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death. - James F. Bymes

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

To an entrepreneur, closing a financing often feels like the end of a marathon. It's actually the starting gun. - Andy Dunn

Now we got a lawyer, we got civilization, which I understand to mean that a man has a chance to get rich without working. - Sinclair Lewis

What's the first excellence in a lawyer? Tautology. What's the second? Tautology. What's the third? Tautology. - Richard Steele

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Judge: 1. A law student who marks his own examination papers; 2. A lawyer who once knew a politician; 3. A man in a trying position. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


New York's Morning Cup of Java

Pole Position

Before Political Correctness

Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver

Tight FM Bandwidth

Boat Hurdles

Sign Model

In Stock Guarantee

Microslave: You're Not Going Anywhere Today

Homing Pigeon Sale

Extra Weight

Proof of Global Warming

Colgate Advertising Campaign

Ship Tow

Canadian Warship

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Canadian Smart Car