Hailstone Timbits

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm. - Willa Cather

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. - Martin Mull

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need. - Francois-Auguste Rodin

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

No one would have ever crossed the ocean if they could have gotten off the ship in the storm. - Charles F. Ketterling

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

Courage will now be your best defence against the storm that is at hand - that and such hope as I bring. - JRR Tolkien

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do about it. - Golda Meir

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist. - Edgar W Howe

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have survived the storm of yesterday and that has made me so grateful for today. - Unknown

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Who is the happier man: he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? - Hunter S Thompson

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul's indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer. - William R. Alger

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump