Hands Free Driving

Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. - Dale Carnegie

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? - Milton Berle

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

When life hands you a lemon, say, "Oh year, I like lemons, what else ya got?" - Henry Rollins

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

I see their souls, and I hold them in my hands, and because I love them they weigh nothing. - Pearl Bailey

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Madam, you're making history, in fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. - Groucho Marx

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I'm discovering that things were never in my hands. - Gordon Atkinson

I've learned that people will seldom let you down if they understand that your destiny is in their hands, and vice versa. - Harvey Mackay

We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both. - Louis D. Branders

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz