#1 humor site on the 'net

House 'Broke'rage

Is your house insurance up to date?

House 'Broke'rage thanks to Rysa Gordon, Surrey, B.C.

QuotaBills
I'm toad-ally a rock star. - Sonali Gupta

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Insurance is for people who don't have money. - Neil Zukerman

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind. - The Bible

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

It's so much easier to throw rocks than it is to govern. - Karen Bass

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. - Kin Hubbard

I like gold because it is a stabilizer; it is an insurance policy. - Kevin O'Leary

Whoever incites anger has a strong insurance against indifference. - Philip Stanhope

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed. - Don Rickles

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. It's called "My Fault Insurance." - Henny Youngman

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

The person that turns over the most rocks wins the game. And that's always been my philosophy. - Peter Lynch

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. - Ike Barinholtz

Lawyers are like painters - once they get into a house, you never know when you will get rid of them again. - Peter A Graham

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

Rock is so much fun. That's what it's all about - filling up the chest cavities and empty kneecaps and elbows. - Jimi Hendrix

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

What the insurance companies have done is to reverse the business so that the public at large insures the insurance companies. - Gerry Spence

With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

At this late hour a wagon has been procured, and I have had it filled with plate and the most valuable portable articles, belonging to the house. - Dolly Madison


Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror

Buddha Is Watching You

Antler Switch Plate

Together Since

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride

Ice Boat

Atom Trust

Electricity Storage

Be Patient

Can Never Have Too Many Tools