#1 humor site on the 'net

I Love Dad

Car-ving her appreciation on the family car

I Love Dad thanks to Renate Jaster

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” - I Corinthians 13:13
QuotaBills
I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

Those whose memories fade seek to carve them in their hearts. - Unknown

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders. - Rodney Dangerfield

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

I'm pretty intentional about being highly invested in my kids' lives. - Mark Batterson

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed feeling afraid. I think it is the most delicious feeling there is. - Domingos Monteiro

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training