I Love Dad

the girl in the treehouse - Jennifer Asbenson

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dairymaid: A girl who ought to know butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch. - Ogden Nash

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A girl with cotton stockings never sees a mouse. - American Proverb

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whittle By Whittle: How to carve a statue out of wood - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Energy: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Flirt: 1. A girl who got the boy you wanted; 2. A woman who believes it's every man for herself. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After all, inside every woman, no matter how grown up she is, there is still a frightened little girl. - Sergei Lukyanenko

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. - Groucho Marx

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always enjoyed feeling afraid. I think it is the most delicious feeling there is. - Domingos Monteiro

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz