Irish Handcuffs

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

Being Irish, I always had this love of words. - Kenneth Branagh

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I have a thing for red-haired Irish boys, as we know. - Sandra Bullock

I am Irish as a person, but I feel Jewish as an actor. - Harrison Ford

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

suJoku.com - suDoku by Joe Defries, 3-time Guinness World Record Holder - Joe Defries

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

Wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be there with you. - Irish Blessings

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm Irish. That means I'm Catholic. But, truth is, now I'm a retired Christian. - Peter O'Toole

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. - Tamara Tunie

"Burn everything British," he once advised his Irish countrymen, "except their coal." - Jonathan Swift

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

My number one choice is Guinness. My number two choice would be Guinness. My number three choice would have to be Guinness. - Peter O'Toole

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison