#1 humor site on the 'net

Israeli Date

Does your girlfriend carry an M-16?

Israeli Date thanks to Roy Turkington

QuotaBills
A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

Be harmonious with each other, enrich the soldiers, ignore all others. - Septimius Severus

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

Does America really need to be the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity. - Trevor Noah

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim


Big Game Hunting in Saskatchewan

OCD Ball Pit

Hawk View

Tartan Treasures

Dog Download

Your First Motorcycle

Summer Snack

Box Car

Frog Food

The Good Old Days

Towel Dog

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Battery Update

Russian Beach

How To Improve New Orleans

Drone Crossing

Air Guitar

Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head