Just One More Glass

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Dig the well before you are thirsty. - Chinese Proverb

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Set wide the window. Let me drink the day. - Edith Wharton

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness. - Sir Walter Scott

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

I am the vessel. The draft is God's. And God is the thirsty one. - Dag Hammarskjold

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. - Brandan Behan

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell