Lampstand Driver

Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele