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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

We laugh, we cry, we make time fly. We are best friends, my mom and I. - Unknown

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I have an abundance mentality. When people are genuinely happy at the successes of others, the pie gets larger. - Stephen Covey

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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