#1 humor site on the 'net

Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A joyful life is an individual creation that cannot be copied from a recipe. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike