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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Lemon merinj pie - Archie Bunker

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Housework, if you do it right, can kill you. - Erma Bombeck

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. - Unknown

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. - Jay Leno

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

From every Englishman emanates a kind of gas, the deadly choke-lamp of boredom. - Heinrich Heine

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


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