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Laxative Cream Pie

Mom's secret recipe for flatulent dessert

Laxative Cream Pie thanks to Howard Chapman

How she made things interesting while stuck in the kitchen cooking and cleaning while the men sat around watching football

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

Life is too short not to order the bacon dessert. - George Takei

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? - Phyllis Diller

Marrying is easy - it's housework that's hard. - Proverb

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. - Unknown

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - George Carlin

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it. - Evan Esar

Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization. - Ann Oakley

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. - Erma Bombeck

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. - Quentin Crisp

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. - Katharine Whitehorn

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly


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