#1 humor site on the 'net

Lord of the Wings

Sales of Tolkien chicken wings are flying off the shelves

Lord of the Wings thanks to Barry McCartney

'The Lord of the Rings' is a fantasy novel written by English author J.R.R. Tolkien. The story began as a sequel to Tolkien's 1937 fantasy novel 'The Hobbit', but eventually developed into a much larger work. Written between 1937 and 1949, 'The Lord of the Rings' is one of the best-selling novels ever written, with over 150 million copies sold.

QuotaBills
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken. - Colonel Sanders

Great ideas need landing gear as well as wings. - C O Jackson

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

I'm capable of anything, my imagination can give me wings. - Nas

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

He who has imagination without learning, has wings and no feet. - Joseph Joubert

The success that the Tolkien books had redefined modern fantasy. - George R.R. Martin

If the lambs were flying, wolves would have also the wings to fly. - Mehmet M Ildan

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

For those determined to fly, having no wings is just a little detail. - Unknown

If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing. - Coco Chanel

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

In the dark days of your life, you will need the wings of hope to continue flying. - Mehmet M Ildan

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings. - Indian Proverb

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

I don't know about flying, but sometimes it feels like I have these little wings on my feet. - Michael Jordan

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

The understanding must not therefore be supplied with wings, but rather hung with weights, to keep it fro leaping and flying. - Francis Bacon

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

Be not penny-wise. Riches have wings. Sometimes they fly away of themselves, and sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more. - Francis Bacon

I can almost feel the wind beneath my wings; I can almost taste the thrill of flying away from this small town and never looking back. - Tessa Hall

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

If you decide to stop flying, it is wise to hang on to your wings, for you may need them one day, when one of your other qualities turns dangerous. - Am Leach

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo

A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself. - Charlie Wardle

Today's weather forecast: heavy showers of blessings, strong wings to blow your worries away, followed by warm hugs and kisses to put smiles on your face. - Unknown

If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings - and put compensation as a carrier behind it - you almost don't have to manage them. - Jack Welch

NASA asked me to create meals for the space shuttle. Thai chicken was the favorite. I flew in a fake space shuttle, but I have no desire to go into space after seeing the toilet. - Rachael Ray

The difference between "involvement" and "commitment" is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was "involved" - the pig was "committed". - Unknown

I had eel at a sushi bar once; it's disgusting. I thought it was chicken. It looked like chicken. It was brown and looked delicious, and I was like, 'That looks safe.' It wasn't. - Chris Evans

Calico Pie,
The little Birds fly
Down to the calico tree,
Their wings were blue,
And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
Till away they flew,
And they never came back to me! - Edward Lear


Sleep With Us

Puppy Taco

Fresh Air Computing

Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent