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Fire Marshal Humor in Texas

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100 thanks to Mia Jepson

Through the Grapevine

QuotaBills
Fires and grimstones of hell - Archie Bunker

Genius is initiative on fire. - Holbrook Jackson

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. - Ursula K. Le Guin

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself. - Mark Twain

Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden. - Cormac McCarthy

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

Managers light a fire under people; leaders light a fire in people. - Kathy Austin

Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended. - Cher

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

Trials function like a fire that burns off every impurity impeding our progress towards holiness. - David Jeremiah

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

I don't have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. - Mark Zuckerberg

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Absence destroys small passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes tapers and kindles fires. - Unknown

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. - Stephen R. Covey

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love. - William Shakespeare

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong


Awkward

German Emergency Road Share

Bikini Photobomb

Hands Free Cell Phone

Defence Budget Cuts

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Soldier Salute

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Beware Of Log

Horse Wood Sculpture

Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Phun with Physics

Saskatchewan Harley

I Don't Want To Get My Pants Wet

Christopher Walken

Secret Passage

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Best Hands-On Coverage

When Air Was Free

Changing Priorities Ahead

Expired Marriage

No Flies On Me

Goose Walkers

Read Your Book Case