#1 humor site on the 'net

Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Bartender invitation sign

Meet Your Future Ex-Wife thanks to Chris Johnson

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Hindsight. It's like foresight without a future. - Kevin Kline

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Your task is not to foresee the future, but to enable it. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

The mind that is anxious about future events is miserable. - Seneca

Where there is no future before a people, there is no hope. - Edward Wilmot Blyden

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I am glad I will not be young in a future without wilderness. - Aldo Leopold

Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present. - Roger Babson

Republicans are men of narrow vision, who are afraid of the future. - Jimmy Carter

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. - Unknown

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders. - Sheryl Sandberg

The past attracts me, the present frightens me, because the future is death. - Guy de Maupassant

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life. - George Burns

When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future. - Bernard Meltzer

Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. - Ambrose Bierce

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today. - Charles W. Eliot

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind of the present moment. - Buddha

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

From the example of the past, the man of the present acts prudently so as not to imperil the future. - Titian

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

Real happiness is not of temporary enjoyment, but is so interwoven with the future that it blesses for ever. - James L Basford

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

Don't major in the minors. Do the tough things first and take control of both your carer and your future. - Peter Legge

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

God is in the resume-building business. He is always using past experiences to prepare us for future opportunities. - Mark Batterson

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Canceled checks will be to future historians and cultural anthropologists what the Dead Sea Scrolls and hieroglyphics are to us. - Brent Staples

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller


Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football

Icy Grip Of Winter

Find The Dogs

Fractal Pattern River

Canadian Whiskey

COLD Fairbanks

Snow Wall

Manitoba Kickstand

Puzzle Ad

Winter Driving in Canada

Coffee Morning

Slide-n-Freeze

Slip Sliding Away

Canadian Smart Car

Winter SOS

East Coast Winter Graffiti

Handstand Snowman