Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Radio has no future. - Lord Kelvin

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Most of our future lies ahead. - Denny Crum

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Life is a series of collisions with the future. - Jose Ortega Y Gasset

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

The future is made of the same stuff as the present. - Simone Weil

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present. - Albert Camus

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different. - Peter F Drucker

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

The reality is you either step into the future, or you become a dinosaur. - M Shadows

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

How you see your future is much more important than what has happened in the past. - Zig Ziglar

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today. - Charles W. Eliot

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

From the example of the past, the man of the present acts prudently so as not to imperil the future. - Titian

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

When we yield to discouragement it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future. - St. Theresa of Lisieux

The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope. Love of the past implies faith in the future. - Stephen Ambrose

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller