Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

The future is a great land. - Unknown

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

The bridge to the future in the phallus. - D.H. Lawrence

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Never make forecasts, especially about the future. - Samuel Goldwyn

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no future for a people who deny their past. - Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

In the future they'll be taxing you by the atom. - Tony Follari

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Remember the past, live in the present, look to the future. - Joe Segal

Where there is no future before a people, there is no hope. - Edward Wilmot Blyden

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present. - Albert Camus

The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different. - Peter F Drucker

You don't just stumble into the future. You create your own future. - Roger Smith

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

A speculator is a man who observes the future, and acts before it occurs. - Bernard Baruch

But blind to former as to future fate, what mortal knows his pre-existent state? - Alexander Pope

Descartes commanded the future from his study more than Napoleon from the throne. - Oliver Holmes

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to secure future happiness is to be as happy as is rightfully possible today. - Charles W. Eliot

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

That man is prudent who neither hopes nor fears anything from the uncertain events of the future. - Anatole France

The real happiness of life is to enjoy the present, without any anxious dependence upon the future. - Lucius A Seneca

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

Unless you devote an enormous amount of time to anticipating the future, you won't have any future. - Ron Chernow

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Our children may learn about heroes of the past. Our task is to make ourselves architects of the future. - Jomo Mzee Kenyatta

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountains that sustain life, not the top. - Robert Pirsig

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future. - Sydney J. Harris

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Bible

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. - Barack Obama