Meet Your Future Ex-Wife

Most of our future lies ahead. - Denny Crum

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. - Albert Einstein

Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future. - Robert H. Schuller

The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

There is nothing like a dream to create the future. - Victor Hugo

He that fears not the future may enjoy the present. - Thomas Fuller

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. - Mike Murdock

The world of the future is in our making. Tomorrow is now. - Eleanor Roosevelt

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Remember the past, live in the present, look to the future. - Joe Segal

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. - Ambrose Bierce

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present. - Unknown

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. - Paul Boese

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past. - Fidel Castro

Forgiveness provides hope, joy, and a bright future that nothing else can. - Paul J Meyer

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay. - Simone de Beauvoir

Lying makes a problem part of the future; truth makes a problem part of the past. - Rick Pitino

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

People respond when you tell them there is a great future in front of you, you can leave your past behind. - Joel Osteen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Bakinmyday: A law passed in the early 1900s that made it mandatory to build all schools at least 15 miles from all future grandfathers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I will never again underestimate the power of anticipation. There is no better boost in the present than an invitation into the future. - Caroline Kepnes

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown