#1 humor site on the 'net

Mercurochrome

Topical antiseptic with alcohol and a dash of mercury

Mercurochrome thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Diabetes is a lousy, lousy disease. - Elaine Stritch

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Life is pharmaceutical from head to cuticle. - David McCord

There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - Carl Jung

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

A room without books is like a body without a soul. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

There is no cure for death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

Seafood is one of the easiest things to digest - a bratwurst is really hard on the body. - Joey Chestnut

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul. - Michelle Delio

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

I was determined to share my positive approach and not let diabetes stand in the way of enjoying my life. - Paula Deen

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well been documented, are various other parts of my body. - Donald Trump

You know when you eat too many sweets and get diabetes? Paparazzi are the diabetes of materialistic culture. - Shirley MacLaine

Yoga is really trying to liberate us from shame about our bodies. To love your body is a very important thing. - Rodney Yee

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I do not love to work out, but if I stick to exercising every day and put the right things in my mouth, then my diabetes just stays in check. - Halle Berry

You've heard of people calling in sick. You may have called in sick a few times yourself. But have you ever thought about calling in well? - Tom Robbins

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea

ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings