Misdirected Faucet
Tap faucet outreaches its life expectancy
Taken for granite
Some bathroom designs include a bit too much granite countertop
QuotaBillsA plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields
Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown
Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen
Experts should be on tap but never on top. - Winston Churchill
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller
I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia
He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying
If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein
The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen
There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini
There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan
I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald
Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino
My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector
I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland
I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx
Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour
A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard
At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima
Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw
The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope
Music Lover: A man, who upon hearing a soprano in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield
Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon
With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer
For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones
I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood
What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke
Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss
Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner
My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle