#1 humor site on the 'net

Money Drop

Taking overnight donations at the Old West Cafe in Grapevine, Texas

Money Drop thanks to joe-kster

'If we’re closed please shove your money under the door.'

QuotaBills
Money often costs too much. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Financial Dilemma: A bill pickle - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Money doesn't talk, it swears. - Bob Dylan

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. - Milton Berle

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

Wind to a sailor is what money is to life on shore. - Sterling Hayden

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

I can't afford to die - I'd lose too much money. - George Burns

A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? - George Carlin

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. - Henny Youngman

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. - Alexandre Dumas

What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man? - Homer Simpson

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is. - Paul Harvey

Money can't buy happiness, but it helps you look for it in more places. - Milton Berle

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. - Henry Fielding

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. - Milton Berle

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window - or break down a door. - Brooke Shields

Money was never a big motivation for me, except as a way to keep score. The real excitement is playing the game. - Donald Trump

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

How you spend your time is more important than how you spend your money. Money mistakes can be corrected, but time is gone forever. - David B. Norris

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher


Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal

Tongue Twister