#1 humor site on the 'net

Money Drop

Taking overnight donations at the Old West Cafe in Grapevine, Texas

Money Drop thanks to joe-kster

'If we’re closed please shove your money under the door.'

QuotaBills
Money is the best cosmetic. - International Proverb

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

Bloods’ not thicker than money. - Groucho Marx

Virtue has never as respectable as money. - Mark Twain

Yacht: a floating box you throw money into. - Unknown

Money is a great servant, but a poor master. - Francis Bacon

Confidence is the hinge on the door to success. - Mary O'Hare Dumas

Waitress: A woman who thinks money grows on trays - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away. - Fidel Castro

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door. - Confucius

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

listen; there's a hell of a good universe next door: let's go - e e cummings

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

I'm worth far too much money. I don't need anybody's money. - Donald Trump

Money can't buy you friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

There is no money in poetry, but then there is no poetry in money, either. - Robert Graves

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years. - Henry Fielding

In our world, more often the truth is 'Money talks and integrity walks.' - Bill Welker

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

Imagination, of course, can open any door - turn the key and let terror walk right in. - Truman Capote

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. - Jackie Mason

You know that I'm at death's door. But the trouble is that I'm afraid to knock. - W Somerset Maugham

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired, and get paid just enough money not to quite. - George Carlin

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated. - H L Mencken

It is not the employer who pays wages; he only handles the money. It is the product that pays wages. - Henry Ford

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

A good financial plan is a road map that shows us exactly how the choices we make today will affect our future. - Alexa Von Tobel

Anything which is physically possible can always be made financially possible; money is a bugaboo of small minds. - Robert A. Heinlein

If you put all your strength and faith and vigor into a job, and try to do the best you can, the money will come. - Lawrence Welk

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. - Joan Rivers

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

Happiness, not money or prestige, should be regarded as the ultimate currency - the currency by which we take measure of our lives. - Tal Ben-Shahar

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. - Ambrose Bierce


How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise