#1 humor site on the 'net

Moosehead Towing

Moose encounter with Hyundai

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Making room for moose in Maine

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Not quite sure how the driver walked away with only minor injuries...

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

Moosehead Towing thanks to Gene Jaster

QuotaBills
Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi. - Mikey Way

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm as strong as a bull moose and you can use me to the limit. - Theodore Roosevelt

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement

Wolfermelon

Car Axident

Centipede Pumpkin

Hiding Horse

How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer

Bourbon Shampoo

Goat Bike

Food Art

Rednecks At Play

She's A Keeper

Algebra Relationship

Pumpkin Races

Bed Equalizer

David's Return To Italy

Sick Pumpkin

Winning An Argument With A Woman

Why Dogs Bite Their Owners

Barcode Eyelashes

Howloween

Caviar Burger

Icelandic Police Donuts

Size Matters

Crowd Surfing - Expert Level