#1 humor site on the 'net

Morning Cardio

Bedspread cycling burns off calories in bed

Morning Cardio thanks to Howard Chapman

QuotaBills
Do it big or stay in bed. - Larry Kelly

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Bed is the poor man's opera. - Italian Proverb

Cycle tracks will abound in Utopia. - H G Wells

A revolution is not a bed of roses. - Fidel Castro

No bed is big enough to hold three. - German Proverb

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. - Sigmund Freud

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

It's great to get up in the morning, but nicer to lie in bed. - Unknown

I ordered a bed from IKEA and they sent me a tree trunk and a saw. - Eileen Curtright

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

Jumping At Conclusions: Not half as much exercise as digging for facts - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What do you call a cyclist who doesn't wear a helmet? An organ donor. - David Perry

Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - James Thurber

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. - Unknown

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

You're welcome to come here, except my bed's from Ikea so it's more unstable than I am. - Unknown

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed. - Ann Landers

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Clay. It's rain, dead leaves, dust, all my dead ancestors. Stones that have been ground into sand. Mud. The whole cycle of life and death. - Martine Vermeulen

What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait - I'm describing my bed again. - Bill Murray

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning. - Groucho Marx

To resist the frigidity of old age, one must combine the body, the mind, and the heart. And to keep these in parallel vigor one must exercise, study, and love. - Alan Bleasdale

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me. Going to bed at night, saying we've done something wonderful - that's what matters to me. - Steve Jobs

The pleasure of work is open to anyone who can develop some specialised skill, provided that he can get satisfaction from the exercise of his skill without demanding universal applause. - Bertrand Russell


Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror

Buddha Is Watching You

Antler Switch Plate

Together Since

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride

Ice Boat

Atom Trust

Electricity Storage

Be Patient

Can Never Have Too Many Tools