Ninja Stickshift

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Destiny is a Paris driver pushing a taxicab with my name on it. - Frank Dane

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz