Ninja Stickshift

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

No one is in your mind - you are its only driver. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light. - Henry Morgan

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee. - Daniel Pauly

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake