#1 humor site on the 'net

Noodleicious

Baby's first hairstyle lesson

Noodleicious thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

A nation of spaghetti eaters cannot restore Roman civilization. - Benito Mussolini

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

I am a genre lover - everything from spaghetti western to samurai movies. - Quentin Tarantino

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Mushroom: 1. A motel for quickies; 2. The place where they store the school food; 3. A room that has no sides, no walls, no doors and no ceilings. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Our food pyramid, the kind of diet that is constantly promoted, is completely warped. It's not based around anything to do with healing your body. - Jessica Origliasso


Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie