#1 humor site on the 'net

Perfect Girl

She could be waiting right underneath a bus sign

Perfect Girl thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Work without love is slavery. - Mother Teresa

I'm the Hiroshima of love. - Sylvester Stallone

Great hate follows great love. - Irish Proverb

I love everything about India. - Russell Peters

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Trust is the first step to love. - Munshi Premchand

Love, and a cough, cannot be hid. - George Herbert

Love is a friendship set to music. - Joseph Campbell

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

Love is a thing as any spirit free. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Those whom the gods love grow young. - Oscar Wilde

We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Murdoch

True love stories never have endings. - Richard Bach

Love one another as I have loved you. - Jesus Christ

Love all, trust few. Do wrong to none. - William Shakespeare

Love does not dominate; it cultivates. - Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

Live a happy life, not a perfect life. - Unknown

What we love to do we find time to do. - John Spaulding

Take away love and our earth is a tomb. - Robert Browning

I love life because what more is there. - Anthony Hopkins

Photography is a love affair with life. - Burk Uzzle

The perfect man? A poet on a motorcycle. - Lucinda Williams

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

Familiar acts are beautiful through love. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Life is a relationship between molecules. - Linus Pauling

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

Tis brief, my lord... as woman's love. - William Shakespeare

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

Isn't love the only thing that counts? - Ravi Zacharias

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

The best love affairs are those we never had. - Norman Lindsay

I love my rejection slips. They show me I try. - Sylvia Plath

We love because it is the only true adventure. - Nikki Giovanni

Never say love is like anything - it isn't. - Michael Chabon

Love means never having to say you're sorry. - Love Story

Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. - Henry Fielding

Being in love is a transient state of psychosis. - John Bradshaw

You can't blame gravity for falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn. - George Bernard Shaw

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. - Mother Teresa

Every love's the love before in a duller dress. - Dorothy Parker

I love mankind... It's people I can't stand. - Linus Van Pelt

I have a great relationship with the Mexican people. - Donald Trump

There is not love of life without despair about life. - Albert Camus

Love your enemy - it will scare the hell out of them. - Mark Twain

No one should teach who is not in love with teaching. - Margaret E Sangster

To her, the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. - H L Mencken

Though I love my country, I do not love my countrymen. - Lord Byron

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat. - Ben Hecht

I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. - Charles Darwin

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette

Recognize, appreciate and repay your parents' love. - Cheng Yen

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - John Ruskin

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of our science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

He was afraid of defiling the love which filled his soul. - Leo Tolstoy

I love Marlon Brando. Never seen him bad, just less good. - Lee Marvin

I can live without money, but I cannot live without love. - Judy Garland

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

Free love is a black and white contradiction in two words. - G K Chesterton

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. - Kahlil Gibran

Love: An ocean of emotions surrounded entirely by expenses. - Thomas R Dewar

Love your enemy. But don't forget he is not your friend. - Paulo Coelho

I'm a nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect! - Unknown

We can do no great things; only small things with great love. - Mother Teresa

I'm the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. - Mae West

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. - Charles C Colton

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. - Euripides

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move. - Jackie Mabley

A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in. - Mae West

Why should I tolerate a perfect stranger at the bedside of my mind? - Vladimir Nabokov

In love as in sport, the amateur status must be strictly maintained. - Robert Graves

I would love to voice an animated penguin or platypus at some point. - Jack Falahee

A friendship that like love is warm; A love like friendship, steady. - Thomas Moore

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed. - Unknown

If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. - Ricky Gervais

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting. - Bill Murray

In some countries you love your neighbors, and in others you eat them. - Ravi Zacharias

When we cannot get what we love, we must love what is within our reach. - French proverb

Love is a word consisting of two vowels, two consonants, and two fools. - Jeff Rovin

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. - Andre Maurois

Love is never as ferocious as when you think it's going to leave you. - Anita Shreve

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

We love those who know the worst of us and don't turn their faces away. - Walker Percy

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. - Peter Ustinov

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. - Charles M. Schulz

I love to just work with new people in general. It's always really fun. - Emma Roberts

The human heart is a strange vessel. Love and hatred can exist side by side. - Scott Westerfeld

They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything. - Bill Keane

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level. - Robin Williams

I write many essays on whales. I love whales, especially orcas. And dolphins. - Millie B. Brown

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. - Cher

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. - Bryant H McGill

Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. - Jesus

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known involved one actor, unassisted. - Wilson Mizner

He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remaining brotherless. - Italian proverb

Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries. - Corita Kent

Oh, if it be to choose and call thee mine, love, thou art every day my Valentine! - Thomas Hood

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. - Michael Leunig

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. - Richard Lewis

Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love the truth. - Joseph Joubert

A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind. - Richard Dehmel

I love surfing more than cricket. It's more interesting and you meet great people. - Hansie Cronje

The true way to render ourselves happy is to love our work and find in it our pleasure. - Francoise de Motteville

I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy. - John Waters

Trouble is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. - Milton Berle

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Charley Benetto

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. - John Keats

To love for the sake of being loved is human, But to love for the sake of loving is angelic. - Alphonse M L de Lamartine

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. - Agatha Christie

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

A good solution applied with vigor now is better than a perfect solution applied ten minutes later. - George S Patton

The wisdom of man never yet contrived a system of taxation that would operate with perfect equality. - Andrew Jackson

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough of is love. - Henry Miller

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left. - Marilyn Monroe

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again. - Albert Einstein

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. - David Frost

Love without hope will not survive. Love without faith changes nothing. Love gives power to hope and faith. - Toba Beta

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

What's the earth with all its art, verse, music, worth -
Compared with love, found, gained, and kept? - Robert Browning

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far. - Neil Simon

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

Love is hard work. It is the hardest work I know of, work from which you are never entitled to take a vacation. - Ravi Zacharias

The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn’t got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it. - Bob Hope

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage. - Albert Camus

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you. - Unknown

The more one forgets himself - by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the more human he is. - Viktor Frankl

There is no such thing as a perfect basketball player, and I don't believe there is only one greatest player either. - Michael Jordan

Love is like a puzzle. First it's confusing and frustrating, but when you figure it out, it's a beautiful thing. - Unknown

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. - Maya Angelou

But here's what I've learned in this war, in this country, in this city: to love the miracle of having been born. - Oriana Fallaci

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Freedom has many difficulties and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in. - John F Kennedy

Mexican, Mediterranean, Italian, sushi, I love it all. Put it on a plate, and as long as I know what it is, I will eat it. - Camren Bicondova

The primary purpose of a home is to reflect and to distribute the love of Christ. Anything that usurps that is idolatrous. - Ravi Zacharias

When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. - Jordan Belfort

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we're not extending in the present. - Marianne Williamson

A father is neither an anchor to hold us back nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way. - Unknown

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. - Sarah Dessen

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind. - William Blake

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W H Auden

I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in. - George Washington Carver

Don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald

If you have love, you don't need to have anything else. If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have. - James M. Barrie

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

I'm always interested in finding the new trend. If you love pizza every day, after 22 years of eating pizza, you want to try sushi. - Jean Pigozzi

The shoulders I stand on are broad and strong, full of history and courage and love. How about you? Whose shoulders are you standing on? - Molly Johnson

I'm still in love with what I do, with the idea of making things up, so hours when I write always feel like very blessed hours to me. - Stephen King

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. - Bertrand Russell

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. - Maya Angelou

The Cross was the manifestation of Divine love without reserve or limit; but it was also the expression of man's unutterable malignity. - Robert Anderson

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba

The highest patriotism is not a blind acceptance of official policy, but a love of one's country deep enough to call her to a higher plain. - George McGovern

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel

Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human. - Albert Ellis

Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. - Hafez


Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women