#1 humor site on the 'net

Perfect Girl

She could be waiting right underneath a bus sign

Perfect Girl thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Love more. Worry Less. - Unknown

I love peace more than life. - John Wilkes Booth

Speak low if you speak love. - William Shakespeare

I love everything about India. - Russell Peters

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Trust is the first step to love. - Munshi Premchand

If you have love, it's easier. - Joe Segal

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

I love stretching myself musically. - Liz Phair

She was torn between love and booty. - Faith Baldwin

We are easily duped by those we love. - Moliere

The only victory over love is flight. - Napoleon Bonaparte

In the race for love, I was scratched. - Joan Davis

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

Live a happy life, not a perfect life. - Unknown

Photography is a love affair with life. - Burk Uzzle

Love has no age, no limit; and no death. - John Galsworthy

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan

It is not love that is blind, but jealousy. - Lawrence Durrell

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Henry David Thoreau

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. - Bible

Afflicted by love's madness all are blind. - Sextus Propertius

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

My life may not be perfect, but my lashes are! - Unknown

Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Unknown

If there were no love, there'd be no grief. - Zig Ziglar

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. - Rumi

The only abnormality is the incapacity to love. - Anais Nin

Being in love is a transient state of psychosis. - John Bradshaw

Love paid a price so hope could become a reality. - Susan Gaddis

Sometimes a girl's gotta have some chocolate. - Carrie Underwood

Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults. - Benjamin Franklin

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

A life without love is like a year without summer. - Swedish Proverb

Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art. - Constantin Stanislavski

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

I love mankind... It's people I can't stand. - Linus Van Pelt

If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. - Ted Turner

The only love affair I have ever had was with music. - Maurice Ravel

Love beauty; it is the shadow of God on the universe. - Gabriela Mistral

To love others, we must first learn to love ourselves. - Unknown

Love: one game never postponed on account of darkness. - Unknown

Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars. - Matthew W. Stover

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

Love. Of course, love. Flames for a year, ashes for 30. - Giuseppi di Lampedusa

Maybe she's a spaghetti girl... straight until wet. - Jodi Lerner

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve. - Ring Lardner

I love being famous - it's almost like being white. - Chris Rock

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. - John Ruskin

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment. - Napoleon Bonaparte

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I love Marlon Brando. Never seen him bad, just less good. - Lee Marvin

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever. - Audre Lorde

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

First love is a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity. - George Bernard Shaw

Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary. - Oscar Wilde

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

The best cure for unrequited love: get to know them better. - Alain de Botton

Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion. - Leigh Hunt

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge. - Bertrand Russell

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. - Charles C Colton

I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything. - F Scott Fitzgerald

It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love. - Voltaire

The call of love sounds very hollow among these immobile rocks. - Gustav Mahler

A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair. - Robert Frost

For business, our Internet love affair was a gift from the gods. - Gary Vaynerchuk

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move. - Jackie Mabley

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I enjoy my fun time and everything like that but I love what I do. - Christina Milian

One who marries for love along will have bad days but good nights. - Egyptian Proverb

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place. - Ice-T

To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best. - William Makepeace Thackeray

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect. - Vince Lombardi

A friendship that like love is warm; A love like friendship, steady. - Thomas Moore

Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love. - Mahatma Gandhi

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting. - Bill Murray

The biggest sin in the world would be if I lost my love for the ocean. - Laird Hamilton

In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. - Andre Maurois

Study nature. Love nature. Stay close to nature. It will never fail you. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

One cannot think well, love well and sleep well if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. - Roy Croft

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

I love you with every cell, with every atom. I love you on a subatomic level. - Robin Williams

Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive. - Havelock Ellis

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. - Erich Fromm

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. - Bryant H McGill

A daughter is someone you laugh with, dream with, and love with all your heart. - Unknown

He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remaining brotherless. - Italian proverb

Let us always meet each other with a smile, for a smile is the beginning of love. - Mother Teresa

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love. - Tom Robbins

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Some people are chocolate and sweets people. I love French fried. That and caviar. - Cameron Diaz

One often goes from love to ambition, but one rarely returns from ambition to love. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it. - Samuel Butler

If you love deeply, you're going to get hurt badly. But it's still worth it. - C S Lewis

Every man is capable of performing something unique; that which he alone can perfect. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

Real love is a humble receptivity of a silent heart that is prepared to melt and merge. - Banani Ray

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. - Dorothy Parker

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

I'm tired of praise; and love is very sweet, when it is simple and sincere like this. - Louisa May Alcott

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. - Buddha

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. - John Lennon

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

If you love something set it free, but don't be surprised if it comes back with herpes. - Chuck Palahniuk

Daddies don't just love their children every now and then, it's a love without end. - George Strait

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

All of us love miracles. We just don't like being in a situation that necessitates one. - Mark Batterson

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. - John Keats

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Love deeply, love without jealousy, love blissfully and help each other to be more meditative. - Osho

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them. - Agatha Christie

It isn't enough for you to love money - it's also necessary that money should love you. - Kin Hubbard

Be humble enough to admit you're not perfect, but determined enough to strive to be perfect. - Unknown

You must do what you love. Sometimes your passion will be the only thing that keeps you motivated. - Faydra D. Fields

Love is not finding someone to live with; it’s finding someone you can’t live without. - Rafael Ortiz

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play and to look up at the stars. - Henry van Dyke

Love is a piano dropped from a fourth story window, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. - Ani DiFranco

I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration. - William P Young

Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, story-tellers, and singers of song. - Pam Brown

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth; and truth rewarded me. - Sylvia Ashton Warner

Surfing is very much like making love. It always feels good, no matter how many times you've done it. - Paul Strauch

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

Every video I'm in, every magazine cover, they stretch you, they make you perfect. It's not real life. - Lady Gaga

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

I love sushi. But after too much of it, it just starts to taste like a dead animal that hasn't been cooked. - Amy Lee

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

I love solving puzzles, I love finding my way around obstacles, and I love learning new things about technology. - Kevin Mitnick

People are weird. When we find someone with weirdness that is compatible with ours, we team up and call it love. - Dr. Seuss

I don't think much of a dance step where the girl looks like she was being carried out of a burning building. - Kin Hubbard

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship, we must love friends for their sake rather than for our own. - Charlotte Bronte

Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. - Chuck Jones

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Waiting around to be perfect never amounts to anything. Don't be a waiter or you'll be serving other people. - Ian Desabrais

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

There's an upside to grandparenthood. You play, you give, you love, then you hand them back and go to an early movie. - Billy Crystal

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. - Audrey Hepburn

When you live your life by poor standards, you inflict damage on everyone who crosses your path, especially those you love. - Jordan Belfort

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I love spaghetti. And I like to cook spaghetti. And I used to eat it every day. I weighed thirty pounds more than I do now. - Christopher Walken

This is one of the miracles of love: it gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted. - C S Lewis

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. - Helen Keller

What I love the most about surfing is that it's my first love. It's the first thing I can remember being consumed by. - Stephanie Gilmore

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

Don't expect your friend to be a perfect person. But help your friend to become a perfect person. That is true friendship. - Mother Teresa

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. - Marianne Williamson

There is a direct relationship between a person's grasp and experience of God's grace and his or her heart for justice. - Unknown

I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise that I'll love you for the rest of mine. - Unknown

I am weird, you are weird. Everyone in this world is weird. One day, two people come together in mutual weirdness and fall in love. - Dr. Seuss

I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love. - Marilyn Monroe

Forgiveness isn't just the absence of anger. It's also the presence of self-love, when you actually begin to value yourself. - Tara Westover

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. - Maya Angelou

I love inventing names, but I also collect unusual names, so that I can look through my notebook and choose one that suits a new character. - J K Rowling

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith. - Francis of Assisi

Isn't it ironic? We ignore the ones who adore us; adore the ones who ignore us; love the ones who hurt us; and hurt the ones that love us. - Unknown

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

The highest patriotism is not a blind acceptance of official policy, but a love of one's country deep enough to call her to a higher plain. - George McGovern

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte


Biggest Turkeys

Turkey Day Selfie

Redneck Turkey Shoot

Grandma's Beautiful Pies

Going Cold Turkey

Run, Turkey, Run

Carving The Turkey

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

Turkey Wants You To Eat Pork

Nintendo Motor

Responsible Hi-Tech Redneck

GoosePrints

Stairway Roots

I Love Thanksgiving

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

Turkey Not

Turkey Weather Forecast

Pass The CatSoup, Please

Peace Foot

Missing Piece Statue

Baby Juggling

Dog Tired After Work

How To Burn Fat

Canadian Car Crash