Pregnancy Warning

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. - Dylan Thomas

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Tease: A girl who is always thinking of a man’s happiness, and how to prevent it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster