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Pregnancy Warning

Why you should stay away from alcohol before you have kids

Pregnancy Warning thanks to Jim Serritella

Drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Don't let making a living prevent you from making a life. - John Wooden

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

To err is human; to try to prevent recurrence of error is science. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

If you were born without wings, do nothing to prevent them from growing. - Coco Chanel

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it? - Eleanor Roosevelt

Window Screen: 1. A device to prevent the escape of insects; 2. A device for keeping flies in the house. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest. - Elie Wiesel

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


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