Pregnancy Warning

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

A stumble may prevent a fall. - English Proverb

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. - Ben Franklin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. - Albert Einstein

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Don't let making a living prevent you from making a life. - John Wooden

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

To err is human; to try to prevent recurrence of error is science. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Your resemblance to a muppet will prevent the world from taking you seriously. - Unknown

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

In a litigation-happy society, clear agreements often prevent small disagreements form becoming big ones. - Harvey Mackay

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster