Privileged Corvette Parking

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz