#1 humor site on the 'net

Protect Your Ass

Providing safety clothing for donkey employees

Protect Your Ass thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Who picks your clothes? - Stevie Wonder

A mere scholar, a mere ass. - Robert Burton

Uniform: Sheep's clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass. - William Shakespeare

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes. - Milton Berle

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sage wears rough clothing and holds the jewel in his heart. - Lao-Tzu

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable. - L.M. Montgomery

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Excise: The clothes hanging in your closet that fit before the holidays. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If God gets sore enough at you Edith, he could turn your jawbone into an ass. - Archie Bunker

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Armor: 1. A knight gown; 2. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. - Mark Twain

If you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in or open to your feedback. - Brene Brown

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass. Get up, get up, get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. - Steve Maraboli


Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It