#1 humor site on the 'net

Protect Your Ass

Providing safety clothing for donkey employees

Protect Your Ass thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Who picks your clothes? - Stevie Wonder

A mere scholar, a mere ass. - Robert Burton

Uniform: Sheep's clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lawsuits: Clothes worn by an attorney - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. - Henry J Kaiser

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Lingerie: The only clothing where less costs more - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Tirade: A trip to the clothing store to steal neckwear - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The two things children wear out are clothes and parents. - Unknown

Women's Clothes: Go to extremes, but seldom to extremities - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Excise: The clothes hanging in your closet that fit before the holidays. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation. - Latin Proverb

Pajamas: Items of clothing that newlyweds place beside the bed in case of fire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Fine clothes are good only as they supply the want of other means of procuring respect. - Samuel Johnson

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when'. - P G Wodehouse

Hamper: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Floordrobe: A floor littered with discarded clothes, viewed ironically as a clothing storage system - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

Mid-life crisis is that moment when you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age. - William D Tammeus

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? - Katherine Whitehorn

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It is the eye of other people that ruin us. If I were blind I would want, neither fine clothes, fine houses or fine furniture. - Benjamin Franklin

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When my time on Earth is gone and my activities here are past, I want that they should bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass. - Bobby Knight

Sometimes life knocks you on your ass. Get up, get up, get up! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them. - Steve Maraboli


Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey

Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish

New Brunswick Swimming Pools

Box Car

Night Shift for a Computer Geek

Meep Meep