#1 humor site on the 'net

Pumpkin Candy

Critical Path Method for quick Trick or Treat turnover

Pumpkin Candy thanks to Walter Udall

QuotaBills
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

The muses are ghosts, and sometimes they come uninvited. - Stephen King

Graveyards were the one place Belladonna never saw ghosts. - Helen Stringer

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive. - Rob Montgomery

The ghosts of things that never happened are worse than the ghosts of things that did. - L.M. Montgomery

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Swimsuit Police

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Dutch Cowboy

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Ship Tow

Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

Lockdown Advice