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Redneck Bass Tape Measure

How Bubba measures his fish catch

Redneck Bass Tape Measure thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

There's always a bigger fish. - Qui-Gon Jinn

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister. - Phyllis Diller

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

It's not the size of the man in the fight, but the size of the fight in the man. - Unknown

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. - Groucho Marx

By the time I taught myself the bass guitar at the age of 14, my hands were already pretty nimble. - John Entwistle

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

A dwarf who brings a standard along with him to measure his own size is a dwarf in more articles than one. - Laurence Stern

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


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