Smoking Cat

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Cataract: Where cats hang their coats. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

I'm suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright