Smoking Cat

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. - Woody Allen

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Alfred Tennyson

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright