Smoking Cat

You gotta be kitten me. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

A lame cat is better than a swift horse when rats infest the palace. - Chinese Proverb

I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. - George Burns

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

It has been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen