#1 humor site on the 'net

Snake Shortener

How snakes take care of loose ends

Snake Shortener thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without representation. - Unknown

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock

Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis

I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes. - Leona Helmsley

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. - Thomas Jefferson

On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers


Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally