Snake Shortener

Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without regimentation. - Archie Bunker

No taxation without representation. - Unknown

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock

Taxation without representation is tyranny. - James Otis

I'm very strongly against tax increases. - Donald Trump

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes. - Leona Helmsley

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income. - Will Rogers

I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent. - Edith Sitwell

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that still carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

I wouldn't mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country. - Dick Gregory

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank? - Milton Berle

There's nothing like a two-hour tax appointment to make you question your career. - Shawn Hitchins

Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt

At the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. - Bono

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy. If it benefits you, it is a tax reform. - Russell B Long

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical. - Thomas Jefferson

On my income tax 1040 it says, "Check this box if you are blind." I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. - Tom Lehrer

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes;
The wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes.
I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em. - Will Rogers