#1 humor site on the 'net

Sockeye Salmon

Finally found that missing sock!

Sockeye Salmon thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Types of Pacific Salmon
The Pacific Ocean is home to six types of salmon, and Canadian and U.S. boats fish five of them: King, Sockeye, Silver, Pink, and Chum. As well, each of these has at least one other name as well as their Latin name.
King Salmon/ Chinook Salmon
Sockeye Salmon/ Red Salmon
Coho Salmon/ Silver Salmon
Pink Salmon/ Humpies/ Humpback Salmon
Chum Salmon/ Keta Salmon/ Silverbrite Salmon/ Dog Salmon

QuotaBills
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

The fun of fishing is catching 'em, not killing 'em. - Norman Schwarzkopf

Habitat: Place where a particular species of fish was last week - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

They laughed at Robert Fulton but without him, New York wouldn't have a fish market. - Archie Bunker

There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Fishing is not like billiards, in which it is possible to attain a disgusting perfection. - Arthur Ransome

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Unsporting: Any fishing technique that has as its chief object the capture of fish rather than the accumulation of fishing equipment - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie