#1 humor site on the 'net

Stop Wasting Time

Hourglass view of television viewing patterns

Stop Wasting Time thanks to Sven Orloff

An hourglass (or sand clock, sand watch, sandglass, or sand timer) is a mechanical device used to measure the passage of time. It's composed of two glass bulbs connected vertically by narrow neck that allows a regulated trickle of material (historically sand) from the upper bulb to the lower one. Factors affecting the time interval measured include the sand coarseness, sand quantity, the bulb size, and the neck width. Hourglasses may be reused indefinitely by inverting the bulbs once the upper bulb is empty.

QuotaBills
Sex is the biggest nothing of all time. - Andy Warhol

Genius is immediate, but talent takes time. - Janet Flanner

Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Theophrastus

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it. - Groucho Marx

Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by. - Maria Schell

There is never enough time, unless you're serving it. - Malcolm Forbes

Forever is a long time, but not as long as it was yesterday. - Dennis H'Orgnies

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself. - George Lopez

All endings are also beginnings - we just don't know it at the time. - Unknown

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once. - Albert Einstein

Being with you and not being with you is the only way I have to measure time. - Jorge Luis Borges

Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy man has not time to form. - Andre Maurois

Character is the result of two things: Mental attitude and the way we spend our time. - Elbert Green Hubbard

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Obi-Wan Kenobi. Obi-Wan. Now that's a name I have not heard in a long time. A long time. - Obi Wan Kenobi

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. - Art Buchwald

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish. - Robin Williams

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Time will discover everything to posterity. It is a babbler, and speaks even when no question is put. - Euripides

The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar. - Jimi Hendrix

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Nighttime is really the best time to work. All the ideas are there to be yours because everyone else is asleep. - Catherine O'Hara

I was a Democrat for a period of time early on. And then I was also an independent. And then I became a Republican. - Donald Trump

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it, it's not a mistake, it's a choice. - Unknown

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work. - George Carlin

Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound. - Unknown

The world, the race, the soul - in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each - all surely going somewhere. - Walt Whitman

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Overnight success just doesn't happen. You've got to put your time in. You're up and down - all of a sudden, it just clicks. - Anthony Calvillo

I am a gypsy. I haven't had a home for a long time. Call me a homeless person - I just throw everything in a bag and I'm good to go. - Taylor Kinney

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives. - Maya Angelou


Titanic's Non-Romantic Scene

Fake News

Steep Steps

Better Lawyer

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Snow Detour

No Time For This

Kwik-Mart Math

Croatian Landscaping

Best Fairy Tale

Back In Five Minutes

Winterized Motorcycle

If IKEA Ran GM

Six Hunnit

Different Drugs

Extreme Value

Spotted Spotters

Ant Attack

Facebook Closure

African Meal on Wheels

Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass