#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Tornado Warning

Dallas Cowboys season aligns with weather report

Texas Tornado Warning thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Chili: Edible weather - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I believe in Coach Louis Wong. He is so much more than just a football coach. - Stephen Covey

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

Football isn't a contact sport; it's a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport. - Vince Lombardi

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank

Corset Bound

Hillbilly Overalls

Fitness On The Bus

The Original Smart Phone

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

You're CuTe

Internet - The Place 2B

Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out