QuotaBillsHappiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz
Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker
Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton
Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown
Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill
I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein
The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown
The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael
Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker
He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright
One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr
Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb
If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb
The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb
I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon
A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones
A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly
Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings
I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine
The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine
Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown
Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers
I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers
I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland
If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno
If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell
Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy
I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown
Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown
When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner
My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright
Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman
The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain
Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia