#1 humor site on the 'net

Ticket Evasion

COP: Corner Observance Police

Ticket Evasion thanks to Audrey Letowsky

QuotaBills
Unsafe at any speed. - Ralph Nader

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

OK, so what's the speed of dark? - Steven Wright

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown

Welcome the coming, speed the parting guest. - Homer

Speed is not a priority, just enjoy your hike. - Barry Putra

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

The speed of a runaway horse counts for nothing. - Jean Cocteau

Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Wayne Lukas

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

Bad humour is an evasion of reality; good humour is an acceptance of it. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert

Speed Limit: The velocity one must exceed by approximately 10 MPH on a major highway or risk being run off the road - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade, the presence of God. The world is crowded with him. He walks everywhere incognito. - C S Lewis

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. - Steven Wright

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud


Magnetic Personality

Broken Window Repair

Zamboni Mohawk

Hand Tool

Lane Closure

Chainsaw-Powered 'Dolmette' Super-Motorcycle

Lego Wall Repair

High Tensile Snow

Newborn Canadian

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck