#1 humor site on the 'net

Trumpkins

Halloween pumpkins for Republicans

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Alien Halloween Costume
Animal Halloween Costumes
Avoiding Stress In The Workplace
Bat Flying Blind
Bloodsucker Bank
Boo Who? Surprise, Surprise!
Book Cover Pumpkin
Broom Size
Bush Zombie
Centipede Pumpkin
Cheap Halloween Costume
Coffin Attack
Costume Ride
Cruise Nurse
Custom Halloween Costume
Dead Phone
DeadLights
Dog O’Lanterns
Don't Break The Window
Drunk Pumpkin
Eye Do
Finger Lickin’ Good
Fireworks Wizard
Floral Skull
Future Therapy
Grandparent’s Halloween
Halloween Birth
Halloween Boos
Halloween Chicken
Halloween Clouds
Halloween Coffee
Halloween Costumes of Yesteryear
Halloween Cyclist
Halloween Dog
Halloween Driver Costume
Halloween Greeting
Halloween Guard Dog
Halloween Horse
Halloween House
Halloween Joe-ks
Halloween Kiss
Halloween Lamp
Halloween Moon
Halloween Night 1914
Halloween Pit Bull
Halloween Selfie
Halloween Special
Halloween Surprise
Halloween Toilet
Halloween Transformers
Halloween Warning
Halloween Weatherman
Halloween Web
Happy Billionaire Halloween
Haunted Pancakes
Headless Dogman
Here Comes Baby
Hobbit Halloween
Home Sweet Home
How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer
Howloween
Hungry Pumpkin
Jack-o'-lantern Apocalypse
Jaws Pumpkin
Labour of Halloween
Lum-Purr-Jack
Menopause Halloween
Missing Mother-In-Law
Not Haunted House Sales
Potion Making
Pumpkin Art
Pumpkin Buns
Pumpkin Cake
Pumpkin Candy
Pumpkin Carvings
Pumpkin Dentures
Pumpkin Face
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin Races
Pumpkin Skull
Pumpkin Spice Brake Fluid
Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement
Redneck Halloween
Santaween
Sick Pumpkin
SkeleChair
Skeleton Cat
Skeleton Hairstyle
Skeleton Opera
Skull Tentacles
Sleepy Hollow
Smiley Pumpkin
Spooky Garage
Squirmy Jelly Worms
Standing Guard
To Err Is Human
Tree Pumpkins
VW Pumpkin
Welding Pumpkin
When Pumpkins Drink
Which Witch
Why Dogs Bite Their Owners
Witch Relatives
Worst Halloween Decoration
Zombie Drivers
Zombie Graveyard Snowmen
Zombie Mug
Zombie Response Team
Zombie Snowmen
Zombie Survival Guide
QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. - L.M. Montgomery

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

The pumpkin is always oranger on the other side of the patch. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

This poor pumpkin gave in to rot,
and all that's left is pumpkin snot. - Shirley Thomas

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

The mask can be a limitation, but you just deal with it. You do get superhuman strength and pumpkin bombs and all this other stuff to express yourself with. - Willem Dafoe

On Halloween, kids get to assume, for one night the outward forms of their innermost dread, and they're also allowed to take candy from strangers - the scariest thing of all. - Kate Christensen

Many cultures believe that on a certain day - Halloween, the Irish Samhain Eve, Mexico's 'Dia de los Muertos' - the veil between this world and the next is especially thin. - Michael Dirda

I like sugar, be it candy, this season's pumpkin chocolate chip bars, or wine. Sugar is bad for me. It just sits on my tummy, causing my middle child Esme to ask if we are having a fourth baby. - Alicia Coppola


Ruling On Criticism

Bacon Pancakes

Very Left Turn Driver

Cold Sermon

Store Tested Coffee

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

End Of The Line

Cow Vacation

Wheelchair Warriors

Women's Rights

Finger's House

Deplorter

Squeegee Clothing

Child's Decision Making Tree

Ambition

Cold Books

Ikea Blueprint

Waterslide Closet

Canadian Whiskey

Car-Eating Cow

Tea For Two

Paint Pants

Sea Sand Art

Grief Bacon