#1 humor site on the 'net

Trumpkins

Halloween pumpkins for Republicans

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Trumpkins thanks to Gene Jaster

Alien Halloween Costume
Animal Halloween Costumes
Avoiding Stress In The Workplace
Bat Flying Blind
Bloodsucker Bank
Boo Who? Surprise, Surprise!
Book Cover Pumpkin
Broom Size
Bush Zombie
Centipede Pumpkin
Cheap Halloween Costume
Coffin Attack
Costume Ride
Cruise Nurse
Custom Halloween Costume
Dead Phone
DeadLights
Dog O’Lanterns
Don't Break The Window
Drunk Pumpkin
Eye Do
Finger Lickin’ Good
Fireworks Wizard
Floral Skull
Future Therapy
Grandparent’s Halloween
Halloween Birth
Halloween Boos
Halloween Chicken
Halloween Clouds
Halloween Coffee
Halloween Costumes of Yesteryear
Halloween Cyclist
Halloween Dog
Halloween Driver Costume
Halloween Greeting
Halloween Guard Dog
Halloween Horse
Halloween House
Halloween Joe-ks
Halloween Kiss
Halloween Lamp
Halloween Moon
Halloween Night 1914
Halloween Pit Bull
Halloween Selfie
Halloween Special
Halloween Surprise
Halloween Toilet
Halloween Transformers
Halloween Warning
Halloween Weatherman
Halloween Web
Happy Billionaire Halloween
Haunted Pancakes
Headless Dogman
Here Comes Baby
Hobbit Halloween
Home Sweet Home
How To Enjoy Pumpkin Beer
Howloween
Hungry Pumpkin
Jack-o'-lantern Apocalypse
Jaws Pumpkin
Labour of Halloween
Lum-Purr-Jack
Menopause Halloween
Missing Mother-In-Law
Not Haunted House Sales
Potion Making
Pumpkin Art
Pumpkin Buns
Pumpkin Cake
Pumpkin Candy
Pumpkin Carvings
Pumpkin Dentures
Pumpkin Face
Pumpkin Pi
Pumpkin Races
Pumpkin Skull
Pumpkin Spice Brake Fluid
Pumpkin-Themed Baby Announcement
Redneck Halloween
Santaween
Sick Pumpkin
SkeleChair
Skeleton Cat
Skeleton Hairstyle
Skeleton Opera
Skull Tentacles
Sleepy Hollow
Smiley Pumpkin
Spooky Garage
Squirmy Jelly Worms
Standing Guard
To Err Is Human
Tree Pumpkins
VW Pumpkin
Welding Pumpkin
When Pumpkins Drink
Which Witch
Why Dogs Bite Their Owners
Witch Relatives
Worst Halloween Decoration
Zombie Drivers
Zombie Graveyard Snowmen
Zombie Mug
Zombie Response Team
Zombie Snowmen
Zombie Survival Guide
QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

I love you more than pumpkin spice latte but please don't make me prove it! - Unknown

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

Instead of doing cinnamon, nutmeg, and all those baking spices I'll have one spice that's for sweets, and that's pumpkin pie spice. - Sandra Lee

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

The mask can be a limitation, but you just deal with it. You do get superhuman strength and pumpkin bombs and all this other stuff to express yourself with. - Willem Dafoe

On Halloween, kids get to assume, for one night the outward forms of their innermost dread, and they're also allowed to take candy from strangers - the scariest thing of all. - Kate Christensen

Many cultures believe that on a certain day - Halloween, the Irish Samhain Eve, Mexico's 'Dia de los Muertos' - the veil between this world and the next is especially thin. - Michael Dirda

If ever there was a holiday that deserves to be commercialized, it's Halloween. We haven't taken it away from kids. We've just expanded it so that the kid in adults can enjoy it, too. - Cassandra Peterson


Bottle Curtains

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Frozen Eyelashes

Chipwrecked

Moose Parking

Long Winter

Another Day In Traffic

How A Leader Leads

We Haul It All

Find Your Purpose

Something Witty

Frozen America

Woodcutter Birthday Cake

That's My Bed

Laxative Cream Pie

Crow Species

Japanese Eye Test

Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels