#1 humor site on the 'net

Vegan Cell Phone

Finding a substitute replacement for Double A batteries

Vegan Cell Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Books don't need batteries. - Nadine Gordimer

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

The heart, like the stomach, wants a varied diet. - Gustave Flaubert

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

I do everything on my phone as a lot of people do. - Mark Zuckerberg

The universe is not a machine; it is an organic whole. - Ravi Zacharias

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

Nothing burns more calories than dancing in 5-inch heels. - Ariana Grande

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

When I get a little money, I buy books. If any is left, I buy food and clothes. - Erasmus

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole. - Unknown

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

Organic chemistry has become a vast rubbish heap of puzzling and bewildering compounds. - J Norman Collie

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity. - David H Murdock

Phonesia: The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I wouldn't pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands. - Bill Murray

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet