#1 humor site on the 'net

Vintage Baby Trailer

Strolling with a stroller in the early 1900s

Vintage Baby Trailer thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Burn rubber, not your soul, baby. - Craig Fernandez

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Howling Success: The baby that gets picked up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Baby Boomer: A kid who just polished off six jars of raspberry jam - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Kidnap: 1. Something that a young child takes when tired; 2. When a baby goat sleeps. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay


SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Water Taxi

Acapulco Waterfront Property

Just Blew It

Wouldn't want to scratch that fancy bed liner

Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

See The Difference?

Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks