#1 humor site on the 'net

Waiting For The Perfect Man

Jilted bride still keeps hope alive

Waiting For The Perfect Man thanks to Wayne Nowazek

She waited a long time for the right man to come around

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. - Wilson Mizner

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

You don't know that you'll ever have to talk about the skeleton in your closet. - Mark McGwire

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


Turbo Snail

Power Outage

Beijing Redneck

Late Lecture

Escapism

Wine Secret

It's All Mine

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Big Card Game

Sweet Chopper

Spaghetti Tree

Inglish Spikkers Welcom

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire