Waiting For The Perfect Man

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Men are my hobby. If I ever got married, I'd have to give it up. - Mae West

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. - Wilson Mizner

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

You don't know that you'll ever have to talk about the skeleton in your closet. - Mark McGwire

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx