Waiting For The Perfect Man

Marry money. - Max Shulman

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame. - Virginia Woolf

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller