QuotaBillsMarry money. - Max Shulman
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb
I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor
Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy
Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem
Every love's the love before in a duller dress. - Dorothy Parker
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb
Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes. - Unknown
There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde
There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison
I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx
Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith
I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx
There is not so variable a thing in nature as a lady's head-dress. - Joseph Addison
There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown
I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result. - Oscar Wilde
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde
I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta
If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon
Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton
The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud
Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman
I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem
Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming
Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx
Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown
Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde
A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall
Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker
Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse
A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott
Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir
Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison
Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe
I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito
Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller
There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde
We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono
The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
You have to do what you love to do, not get stuck in that comfort zone of a regular job. Life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it. - Lucinda Basset
Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx