#1 humor site on the 'net

Welcome To Texas

Hope y'all come to visit!

Welcome To Texas thanks to Keith Blake

Texan Prayer: I have learned to be content in whatever state I am

QuotaBills
Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. - John Lennon

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do. - Gerry Sikorski

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it. - Leo Rosten

People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves. - Aesop

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

You do not pay the price of success, you enjoy the price of success. - Zig Ziglar

And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been. - Rainer M. Rilke

Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. - Unknown

Welcome to our home. And as yous people say "shaboom" (shalom) - Archie Bunker

If you're gonna be a failure, at least be one at something you enjoy. - Sylvester Stallone

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

In the end no one gets out alive, so you may as well enjoy every moment you can. - Peter Legge

Advice is seldom welcome; and those who want it the most always like it the least. - Philip Dormer Stanhope (Earl of Chesterfield)

I'd rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life than be worried all the time. - Drew Barrymore

If you want to be the person you ought to be, you've got to welcome competition. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us. - Margaret Thatcher

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

I enjoy my wrinkles and regard them as badges of distinction - I've worked hard for them! - Maggie Kuhn

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about things. - Kenneth Branagh

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow. - Unknown

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

Enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, 'Oh God, I've got to do this today.' - Richard Branson

Sensitive love letters are my specialty: "Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. P.S. I'm gay." - Homer Simpson

Who is the happiest man? He who is alive to the merit of others, and can rejoice in their enjoyment as if it were his own. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive. - Joan Rivers

Vacation Time: That period when the flowers in the home garden are at their best and only the neighbours are around to enjoy them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two things to aim at in life; first to get what you want, and after that to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind has achieved the second. - Logan P Smith

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas

That's My Bed

Eye For Coffee