#1 humor site on the 'net

What Are They Looking At?

Family pets get anxious around feeding time

What Are They Looking At? thanks to Jim Serritella

Something special is being prepared behind the dishwasher...

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. - Mark Twain

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it. - Ellen Glasgow

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Challenge Accepted

Subway Camouflage

In Stitches

Great White

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can I Lick It

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Velociraptor Defined

Redneck Muffler Repair

Drama Queen Diary

He Looks Just Like His Father!

Happy Snow Car

Sand Strap Experience

Redneck Calf Feeder

BaCoN T-Shirt

Go Winterized

Car Igloo

Hen Pecked

It's Movie Time

In The Dog House

Diaper Change

Palestinian Security Check

Wurst-Case Scenario

High-Rise Inifinity Pool