#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Greens

How to lead stray snowbound livestock back home

Winter Greens thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Holy Cow - what the stray cattle menace has become

QuotaBills
Let's make hay while it lasts. - James Lovelock

Tenure: The number following nineure - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

In the kingdom of hope, there is no winter. - Russian Proverb

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Finally my winter fat is done. Now I have spring rolls. - Unknown

Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart. - Victor Hugo

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

The only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. - John Cleese

The coldest winter I ever spent was summer in San Francisco. - James Quin

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk. - Ogden Nash

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

If you're bored, one thing is for sure: You're not following in the footsteps of Christ. - Mark Batterson

They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. - Edith Wharton

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

Too much sun after a Syracuse winter does strange things to your head, makes you feel strong, even if you aren't. - Laurie H. Anderson

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

I you can make any leading religion of the world look like complete nonsense, you can be sure of only one thing: you haven't understood it. - Wilfred Cantwell Smith

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead

Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage

Goose Walkers

Minion HotHead

Christopher Walken

Greek Financial Path

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Fawn Of You

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Redneck Beer Stacker

Hot Summer Days

mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star