#1 humor site on the 'net

Winter Greens

How to lead stray snowbound livestock back home

Winter Greens thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Holy Cow - what the stray cattle menace has become

QuotaBills
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Now is the winter of our discontent - William Shakespeare

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Laughing Stock: Cattle with a sense of humour - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart. - Victor Hugo

The groundhog said six more weeks of winter so I ate him. - Wile E. Coyote

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants. - Geraldo Rivera

The only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it. - John Cleese

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. - Ambrose Bierce

Success comes from taking the initiative and following up or persisting. - Tony Robbins

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

Look over your shoulder now and then to be sure someone's following you. - Henry Gilmer

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

The day people stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. - Colin Powell

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. - Sam Snead

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Usually the thing that signifies that I'm done with the winter and all that is that I start skateboarding. - Shaun White

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The only thing more depressing than another six weeks of winter would be having to spend them in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. - Unknown

Moral authority comes from following universal and timeless principles like honesty, integrity, treating people with respect. - Stephen Covey

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. - Bill Bryson

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

Zipper: Two rows of unsmiling teeth that often induce laughter in others, especially when inadvertently left open following a trip to the john - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift


Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!