Aussie Ford Coupe

A poor joke must invent its own laughter. - Latin Proverb

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

You want to invent new ideas, not new rules. - Dan Heath

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. - Ann Douglas

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Ford used to have a better idea; now they don't have a clue. - Steve Kravitz

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent. - William Blake

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, human rights invented America. - Jimmy Carter

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

If we don't redouble our efforts to increase incentives for invention, this country's going to lose its edge. - Dean Kamen

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman