#1 humor site on the 'net

BassTurd

Spotting flatulent fish in Hawaii

BassTurd thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Sushi Vendor: A sell-fish guy - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

Paraffins: Found on sides of fish - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Net Worth: Measurement of a fisherman's wealth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

When they see me holding fish, they can see that I am comfortable with kings as well as with paupers. - Imelda Marcos

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?