#1 humor site on the 'net

Beer Rescue

How to save beer trapped in a bottle

Beer Rescue thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them. - James A. Baldwin

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tavern: 1. Thirst come, thirst served; 2. A place where madness is sold by the bottle. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Life is a puzzle, the more you try to resolve it, the more you'll get trapped in it's mystery. - Rahul Singh

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison


Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat

Frog Waltz

SinkHole Pickup

Always Use Your Mirrors

Johnny On The Pot's Plumber Truck

Wrench Wheel

Bonsai Fruit Tree

Bussines Gaurd

Saxy Shoe

Mayweather Momma

What's Holding You Back?

Final Exams In North Korea