#1 humor site on the 'net

Behind Curtain Number One

Looking out for better days to come

Behind Curtain Number One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to change winter into spring

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

An iron curtain has descended across the continent. - Winston Churchill

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young


Paint Ladder

Spanish Restrooms

First Computer Cursor

Arsenic Wafers

Car Surgeon

Rust-ic Truck

Aisle Cleanup

Camouflage Garage

World's First Laser Pointer

Patio Losers

Tetris Cake

Tower of Hammocks

Dead Batteries

Cheers!

Roger That

What Day Is It?

Blinker Fluid

Temple Car

Family Birthday Reminder

Coffee Days

New Audi

Netherlands Parking Lot

Wine Bibber

Tylenol Ban