#1 humor site on the 'net

Behind Curtain Number One

Looking out for better days to come

Behind Curtain Number One thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How to change winter into spring

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Despite the forecast, live like it's spring. - Lilly Pulitzer

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

An iron curtain has descended across the continent. - Winston Churchill

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings. - JRR Tolkien

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

The Iron Curtain may be a thing of the past, but Mother Russia is as mysterious as ever. - Robert Gottlieb

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. - Groucho Marx

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Boat Hurdles

Bread Slice

Steak Sale

Take Away Food

Creative Vandalism

History Doesn't Repeat Itself

Flamingo Predator

Irish Pub Restroom

Like This

Instant Engine Starting Down Under

DHL Express

Bike Fence

Small Bills

UnderDog

Pi Chart

Famous Equations

Brick Road Laying in The Netherlands

Cat Love

Sawfish Sword

Babysitter Dog

Bag Feelers

Love Feeding Birds

Backup Grill

Yoda-Churchill