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Cataract Surgery Lawsuit

Susan Sues after an eye-opening Down Under operation

A West Australian newspaper recently reported that a woman, Mrs. Susan Maynard, has sued a Perth Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
Cataract Surgery Lawsuit thanks to Mike King

A hospital spokesman replied, 'Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.'

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

In law, nothing is certain but the expense. - Samuel Butler

Our ancestors ... were laborers, not lawyers. - Thomas Jefferson

It is not wisdom but authority that makes a law. - Thomas Hobbes

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Lawyers are in the business of advocacy, not judgment. - Allan C Hutchinson

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. - H L Mencken

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

The first and fundamental law of nature is to seek out peace and follow it. - Thomas Hobbes

Tennis is like a lawsuit: activity from across the court is often surprising. - Unknown

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

May you live your life as if the maxim of your actions were to become universal law. - Immanuel Kant

To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt. - Elizabeth C Stanton

Mob law does not become due process of law by securing the assent of a terrorized jury. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what is most precious to men: time. - Napoleon Bonaparte

When the law no longer protects you from the corrupt, but protects the corrupt from you, you know your nation is doomed. - Ayn Rand

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

How lawyers make work for one another! You're all priests, worshipping the same god. No wonder you adore one another. - Joyce Carol Oates

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

It is the business of a lawyer to find a hole to creep out of any law that is in his way; and if there is no hole, to make one. - W Ouseley

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman


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