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Christmas Fireplace Tip

Placing empty boxes under the Christmas tree

Christmas Fireplace Tip thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Placebo Christmas presents for naughty children

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Love in its essence is spiritual fire. - Emanuel Swedenborg

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Keep a little fire burning; however small, however hidden. - Cormac McCarthy

The Irish seem to have more fire about them than the Scots. - Sean Connery

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today does the fire burn brightly. - Eskimo Proverb

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

We feel free when we escape - even when it be from the frying pan into the fire. - Eric Hoffer

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald, but if he has fire, women will like him. - Mae West

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech. - Franklin P Jones

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Unknown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Years steal fire from the mind as vigor from the limb; and life's enchanted cup but sparkles near the brim. - Lord Byron

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Well, yes, I've fired a lot of people. Generally I like other people to fire, because it's always a lousy task. But I have fired many people. - Donald Trump


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