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Christmas Roof Tree

How to fit even the biggest tree into your living room

Christmas Roof Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. - Warren Buffett

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

The reason there are so many tree-lined boulevards in Paris is so the German army can march in the shade. - George S Patton

I cannot work; I cannot speak; I cannot live or love as I should, unless God's wisdom lights my path. - David Jeremiah

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath


Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration