Clever Chinese

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

All new news is old news happening to new people. - Malcolm Muggeridge

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

Lord Birkenhead is very clever but sometimes his brains go to his head. - Margot Asquith

For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not news. - Gloria Borger

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

No Chinese Catholics are allowed to worship ancestors in their familial temples. - Pope Clement XI

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. - Chinese proverb

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic. - Winston Churchill

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

In the beginning was the Lie and the Lie was made news and dwelt among us, graceless and false. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The everyday kindness of the back roads more than makes up for the acts of greed in the headlines. - Charles Kuralt

All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded." - Steven Wright

My big focus is China and OPEC and all of these countries that are just absolutely destroying the United States. - Donald Trump

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. - Jerry Seinfeld

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

Living in China has made me appreciate my own country, with its tiny, ethnically diverse population of unassuming donut-eaters. - Jan Wong

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

As you've noticed, people don't want to be sold. What people do want is news and information about the things they care about. - Larry Weber

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson