Clever Chinese

No news is good news. - Ludovic Halevy

Literature is news that stays news. - Ezra Pound

The man who laughs has not yet heard the news. - Bertolt Brecht

Clever men are good, but they are not the best. - Thomas Carlyle

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. - Charles de Gaulle

I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27. - Clement Attlee

When the news is scary, you should look for the helpers. - Fred Rogers

Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. - Albert Einstein

I look like I'm Chinese or Thai or Japanese - very different. - Mary Kom

How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? - Jay Leno

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Lord Birkenhead is very clever but sometimes his brains go to his head. - Margot Asquith

I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. - Rob Lowe

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

This is good news... If the Persians hide the sun, we shall do battle in the shade. - Herodotus

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

A clever person turns great troubles into little ones and little ones into none at all. - Chinese proverb

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. - Oscar Wilde

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. - Rumi

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. - Will Durant

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why don't you put that in the headline: "He Only Did Three With Doris!" Set a lot of people straight. - Rock Hudson

Why something in the public interest such as television news can be fought over, like a chain of hamburger stands, eludes me. - Jimmy Breslin

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. - Ogden Nash

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden